someone who is afraid to be left behind.

"I'm on the skyways about to knock on the door towards reality... Would it open for me? Would somebody let me in? Would I even know what's beyond that door? Or would I be left behind flying with a single wing driven by insanity? "

Once more, I am battling over my paranoia... I can still remember how Fr. Norman Baldoz, my former formator when I was still in Immaculate Conception Seminary, assures me that I would never be left behind.

Yeah right... I'm 21 and yet I do not know the path I am on to... How could I expect to know the end? What is meant for me?

Happy Birthday Fr. Norman!!!

I never thought she wears multiple earings...

It's quite amusing how people seemed to fall in first times (or the second) of very very brief encounters. It's more stupid to conclude and say "finally" or "she's the one I'm looking for." (Whew, is this for real? I'm in love) Stupid!!!!! Lol.... And shame on me but I'm referring to a group where I belong.

I can still remember how I went through my "relationships-to-be." (yeah, if its right to claim that I really went through. What makes it more horrible is the fact that when the time comes that I'm on the final stage of making out if I should court the person or not, there would always be this little difference that would require me to "Back-off!" hehehe...

It was not long ago when I met this girl in my new university. All i can say is she is really pretty and intelligent, and girl friend material kung tutuusin. (Long hair, simple yet irresistible, intelligence and besides, her seldom presence is making my heart beat up to the dregs.) That was my first impression. Time would tell that the magic that I have mistaken for as to that of love is turning to be a damn joker in my life. (I'm not saying that I'm not in love with her now but I'm damn confused.) whew...

Why? I never imagined that I would have a girlfriend with multiple earrings and besides she sometimes act more masculine than me... Lol... (With regards to the latter, its pretty cute. She seems to be the cute sassy girl or an Angel Locsin in a 'Click' character making her way to be more attractive.

To cut the long story short, history would have to tell that she's not my dream girl. But I'm not throwing her out of my life because I feel something about her and I am really taking a hard time how to cope about it. She's a punk, more of an Avril Lavigne character. But I'm a conyo in my own right. Should I court her? Would extremes meet? Would opposites attract? In what point? How I wish...

Well, the one in the picture is not her.

She's my friend, she-she.

Remaining Tagged

Kung puwedeng erase na lang lahat and then restart, at least, alam ko na ang dapat kong gawin sa buhay ko. But when reality speaks, I can only remain vigilant not torepeat same mistakes, to live extending the best of my abilities, and to go on loving those who really love me. I don't know why it is very easy for me to trust anybody even if some are unworthy of trust. I am easily tamed. I easily fall... Yah, i might have been living in a basket of excuses, closing myself to pretend that I'm a just a lifeless junk. That's not all. All is here, breathing ang living. I know what's right and what's not but I don't know how to keep the first one.

Of Dungbombs and Forbidden Files

Can anyone please tell me how stupid am I? Lol. I really am...

The Sexual Jeopardy

I still can't understand how things go while most persons are busy disposing human nature in its proper place. We know very well that each and every huiman being is physically and internally sexual. There would always be this great tension of attraction that draws a person to advance things on another person. How could some successfully tame it while others cannot? What could have been the avenue of those people not expressing their sexual desires? I dunno. lol. I am just a young boy -unexperienced?- wondering how things go with other persons living with me in this damn sexual world. Even our phantasms are tainted with sexuality and only hypocrites and liers cannot claim that even ones in their lives, they have felt that strong urge" jeopardizing' (wink) our being. Hehehe...

A tiring night.... hehehe... got to go... Doctors insist, going to mass is recommended. Just make sure that the priest is not an eyecatcher like me.. REMEMBER, you must avoid temptation.. lol..

Just Blogging...

I don't exactly know what to write.. I just want to multiply my blog and show some pix...

THE EVERLASTING TANTRUM

Lost since the day I was born
To neglect the winding shore
And rage war to every scorn,
Of destiny, once found
Of life, once lost!

Leap, Neglect the Madness Foretold!
Bold and young,
Teary eyed and thirsty,
Lingering across the depths
Of the summers cold.

A fearless voyager,
Never to be found again clinging,
In the same waters upbringing
Or in the same shipWith kneeling sails.

The tantrum of a melancholic love,
And the feverish dove,
The scent of haste and wisdom unfrostedB
ares it all in an emotions eternal fall.

A Life untarnished,
Untainted by the deceit of fate;
To desire, live and bid
Amidst of everything;
A purity beneath the flame
Or to claim a rendezvous of death.

Everything indeed... Just to find you.


I know that it is quite annoying to know that for some reason, I can never be so sure that somebody would read this. Some may call it a mess. But fate might anyhow pronounce me as the next Pablo Neruda. Who knows? Yes, my ultimate dream is to be a famous writer. And I can never be one unless somebody would dare to read my work. Can this be my step to have a nobel prize? All I can say is "who knows?"