No harm in praying

Almighty and ever living God, you bless your people with eternal graces that flow beyond the things that this world can offer. We thank you dear Father for gathering us as one family here today under the shadow of your love. May we always seek to justify our actions in accordance to Your Divine plan. May we never seek ways that would hurt you in any way. Remove all our pride so that we may be able to do things not just for ourselves but for the people around us as well.

Lord, bless our families. Bless our friends. But above all, bless our beloved country especially now that it is passing through much political turmoil. Please teach each and every one of us that amidst this world filled with hatred, we can be the seed of love; that amidst much injuries, we can deliver pardon; that amidst doubt, we can spread faith; that amidst despair, we can bring hope; that even in darkness, we can be the shining light; and in times of sadness, we can be the bringer of joy. Lord, we seek for unity and peace. Deliver us away from greed and selfishness which are the evils of this world.

As we remain here today, we ask you to look upon all of us. We are your lowly children. Embrace all of us with your guidance and give us the wisdom to know the difference and help us to play the better part. We ask all of these in the name of Jesus Christ your son who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever. AMEN.

Got one hazardous moment?

Ok, I know that i'm still young enough to believe that sooner or later, I would cease to be... (Hey dear philosophers, it is the metaphysical wording of death?) If ever death would greet me soon from now, I really don't know what's next... Would I still keep on asking about why did He ever let me live in this world? I just don't know... Would a moment at peace matter to leave behind a thousand moment of dying over and over again?

Of a dozen hatred and betrayal..

I don't have much time lately... The following is an e-mail of a good friend, Glen... (the one wearing polo diagonally striped with gray and black lines...

Sabi ko sa isang kaibigan, “kailangan nating harapin ang katotohanan, kahit ito’y masakit, kahit pa madurog nito ang ating puso at buong pagkatao” napakadaling sabihin, pero napakahirap gawin…sa dalawapung taon kong nabubuhay sa tinatawag na mundo, sabi nila dapat daw maging masaya na ko, dahil halos lahat ng bagay nasa akin, nandyan ang napakasaya at mapagmahal na pamilya, may kaya kami sa buhay, matalino, gwapo at maraming kaibigan. Pero minsan itinanong ko sa sarili ko, paano kung hindi ako napunta sa pamilyang kinabibilangan ko, kung hindi ako naging may kaya, kung hindi ako naging matalino, may kaibigan kaya ako? Maraming mga tanong sa isip ko, na hanggang sa ngayon hindi ko pa rin masumpungan ang mga kasagutan….isa na nga rito kung dapat nga ba kong maging masaya sa kung anong meron ako ngayon?
Marami nang naging bahagi ng buhay ko, mga kaibigan kung tawagin, pero karamihan sa kanila, ginamit lang ako, inabuso kung anong meron ako, inabuso ang kabaitan ko. Oo, ako si Glenn na manlalait, maraming kahinaan, pero lahat ng mga nakadugtong sa buhay ko na mali , pinipilit kong balutan ng magagandang gawain. Pero hindi nila alam yun, tanging ako at ang nasa itaas ang piping saksi sa mga bagay na yun. Ang tanging nakikita ng mga taong nakapaligid sa akin ay ang mga kahinaan ko. Kahit pa ang mga taong malalapit sa akin, puro ang mga mali ko lang nakikita.
Si Glen, kilala yan bilang matatag, matapang, pranka, manlalait, mayabang…ano pa ba? Magtanong ka sa mga taong nakapaligid sa kanya, ang sasabihin nila sa’yo. “si Glenn???" bakla ‘yan, malambot, maarte, manlalait, mayabang, masama ugali, ano pa??? marami pa, alam ko un…nararamdaman ko yun..sino ba sila para husgahan ako??? Lahat ba ng nakikita ng mata, tama? Lahat ng nadidinig ng tainga, tama? Karamihan sa tao, kahit pa mga taong itinuring kong kapatid ko, kapuso at kapamilya, mariringgan mo nyan.. ano bang tama sa mundo? Magsalita ka, mali ! Tumahimik ka, mali ! Ano pang tama??? oo, gasgas na, na ako lang nakakakilala sa sarili ko, pero un ang totoo!
Ngayon??? Ano nararamdaman ko??? Masakit, hirap na hirap, hinang-hina…hindi ko alam kung sino dapat kausapin, hindi ko alam kung sino makakaintindi sa akin, wala na yatang kayang umintindi sa akin??? Kahit pa yung tinatakbuhan ng lahat, hindi rin naman magsasalita! nandun lang sa krus, nakatingin sa'yo...Saan ko ilalagay ang sarili ko, saan ako magsisimula??? Saan ako pupunta???? Saan? Hirap na hirap na ko! Walang kayang umintindi sa totoong nararamdaman ko. Walang akong tinatago sa sarili ko, wala akong tinatago sa ibang tao, kung ano ako, yun na yung pinapakita ko! Gusto ko ng mamahinga…pagod na pagod na ko...gusto ko ng mamatay….

Need I say more about the title?

Isang Pagninilay sa Problem of Evil ni Clive Staples Lewis

Mabuting tantuin na nagiging ugat ng malalimang pag-iisip ng tao ang bawat bagay na kanyang dinaranas sa kanyang pamumuhay at kasama na rito ang kanyang mga nararamdamang pasakit at karamdaman. Kung ilalagay ito sa konteksto ng pagkakakilanlan ng tao na mayroon siyang isang Diyos, hindi ba magiging isang malaking kabalintunaan ang pag-iral ng magkalihis na konsepto ng pagmamahal at kabaitan ng Diyos at ang paghahari ng mga pasakit sa mundo. Hindi ba ang huling konsepto ang mas nararanasan ng tao? Sa kalagayang ito, pinasisinungalingan ba ang pag-iral ng Diyos o isa ba itong pagsasabi na hindi ganoon kaganap ang kapangyarihan ng Diyos, o isa itong paraan ng Diyos na ipakilala na Siya ay Siya nga sa kontekstong hindi kayang basta saklawin lamang ng pag-iisip ng tao ang kabuuan? Subukan nating tahakin ang huli, ang landas na tinahak ni Clive Staples Lewis.
Nagkakamali ang tao sa pananaw na magkapareho ang konteksto ng tao at ng Diyos sa pagtatamasa ng pag-ibig at kabutihan. Ito ang dahilan kung bakit kapag nakaranas na ng mabibigat na suliranin ang mga tao, may ilang abot-langit ang batong-sisi sa Diyos. Sa kabila ng lahat, ang muling pagkamulat ng ugnayan sa isang lumikha ang isa rin sa maaring kahinatnan ng mga pasakit. Ipinauubaya ng Diyos sa ayaw Niyang saklawang kalayaan ng tao ang pagpapasya. Sa puntong ito, ipinapakitang muli na sapat ang konsepto ng kabutihan ng Diyos upang mula sa pasakit, na masama kung titingnan sa mababaw na pananaw, magmula ang isang mas nakakataas na kabutihan. At para kay C. S. Lewis, ganyan ang pagmamahal ng Diyos na nagmumula sa kabutihan na huwag pabayaang maglunoy ang tao sa kamalian. Higit sa lahat, tinitingnan ang bawat pasakit na nararanasan ng tao na isang bagay na maglalapit sa kanya sa Diyos.
Noong musmos pa lamang ako, pinangarap kong magpunta sa bituing lagi kong tinitingan kapag gabi. Sabi kasi ng nanay, nasa bituing nagpapapansin sa akin ang isang anghel na tagapagtanod at gusto ko sana siyang puntahan. Lumipas ang mga taon at unti-unti kong binibitawan ang pangarap na ito hindi lang dahil sa pagkakatuto sa kawalan ng posibilidad na makapunta ako doon ngunit pati na rin sa pagkatakot na wala na rin pala doon ang hinahanap ko. Bakit ba may mga taong matapos makaranas ng isang matinding bugso ng pasakit ay sinisi ang Diyos o ayaw ng maniwala sa Diyos? Sa tingin ko ay nakaugat ang lahat sa pagkatakot, isang pagkatakot na habang napapalapit siya sa Diyos sa bawat oras na mararamdaman niya ang masasakit na karanasan ay noon pa niya unti-unting malaman na wala naman palang Diyos. At sa aking palagay, ito ang pinakamasakit, ang umasa ka na may Diyos at sa huli malaman mo na wala naman pala o wala ka ring ugnayang maasahan sa Kanya.
Mula rin sa karanasan at ang kakayahang mag-isip, nagagawa ng taong tumahi ng mga kuro-kuro na maaring tanggapin ng nakararaming tao na isang katotohanan sa paglipas ng panahon. Saan nga ba nakasalalay ang katotohanan, sa taong nag-iisip ba o sa bagay na akala ng taong alam niya? Ang kapangahasan ng tao na angkinin ang katotohanan sang-ayon sa kanyang pagdanas ay umabot maging sa hangganan ng ugnayan ng Diyos at ng tao. At sa aking palagay, ninais din ng Diyos na masilayan ng tao ang bahagya Niyang katotohanan para hindi bumitiw ang tao sa kabila ng mga pasakit na kanyang nararanasan sa pag-asa na mayroon ngang isang Diyos.

Ask and You shall Philosophize...

Yes, there are still so much to learn. All I forgot at times is to ask and ask.

A Crazy Love Affair

I just got a half year old pic with my former classmates...

What would you do if the one you intend to share your life with wants her friend to be that 'someone' for you? I know its quite puzzling but could you ever imagine how I feel everytime I try to be close to her and what she oftenly do is to push her friend nearer to me. Got it right? It makes you seem like a stupid jerk begging for something that is not supposed to be for you -- that is, if she determines everything... whew...

The Truth, The Mark and the Virtuous

In this world where the seeming battle between two extremes cannot be appeased, the fluctuation of reality would heavily depend upon the status quo. The variation of truth is heavily reliant on what was first thought. Think of societal old maids that seem to be the epitome of the conservation of morals or rather and more appropriately, they who established themselves as the proprietor of standards. How many times have we heard from them the phrase “during our time” as if it is the basis for everything? More than once, I suppose. But my point is not about the conflict of the then and the now or the past and the present. More so, it is the rift between the possible and the acquired truth.

Among the firsthand accounts of the Holy Scriptures and the book of Genesis in particular is the story of Adam and Eve. It has been an acquired truth for the majority of Catholics that all human race emanated from the said couple and consequently, we acquired from them as a hereditary share, our original sin. There were times that when I come to think about it, I would almost insist that God is so unfair to let the black spell of condemnation came over into entire humanity whereas in fact, only Adam and Eve ate the fruit that causes it all. However, the entrancing idea would give force into a deeper arena, it would easily be seen that the fault of inheriting the original sin is not really the fault of God but of mere persons dwelling on this earth.

Original sin is more of a potentiality than an actuality. It is actualized and put into being not in the literary sense of the world ‘hereditary’ which connotes a garnering of innate characteristics inherited from precursors. Rather and more appropriately, it is done in a way that man acts his way out of freedom committing every level of mature sinning against God, his neighbor and the worst, himself. From this standpoint, the basis of culture is grounded. It is because through his humane freedom, man is becoming what Marcilio Ficino together with other renaissance humanists would assert, “the sovereign maker of himself.”

Looking back upon the story of Adam and Eve, it is also well-known fact that Eve bore two sons in the names of Cain and Abel. Abel is described to be the one pleasing in God’s sight. Out of jealousy, Cain killed Abel. When this has been brought into attention of God, he marked Cain with a sign so that no one would touch him in his lifetime.

Quite essentially and a ready-made answer to the question that asks if who between Cain and Abel is better is no other than Abel. But the evolution of radical thought among the people across generations has presented much deviations of thinking about the believed matter of the story.

Among those who challenged a number of people to think twice is the Nobel Price winner, Hermann Hesse in his novel, “Demian.” “Demian” presents the story of Sinclair and his confusing connection to Demian. Both of them possess an extreme difference from the rest. This separating factor is the Mark of Cain. The mark is exposed in the span of the story as a sign of bravado and strong personality. Precursor to the underlying superiority of the mark is the idea that God really favors the brave one, Cain rather than Abel. That is why God endowed the mark to Cain and his descendants, which are not merely the meek and the humble, but those who have a strong type of personality that emanates from within.

The idea is highly reminiscent of what Nietzsche is trying to point out about the real ancient notion of the virtuous and good, which includes bravery and courage. The point is that there has been a manipulation of the virtuous that has been visibly manifested in the switch of the virtuous as an argumentum ad misericordiam. This seeks to imply that those who have lesser capacities are the receivers of God’s mercy, which is not the case in the time of the ancients. This further implies the sensationalism of the les miserables, not just in money but also in spirit as well, a clear sophistry in the time of those who established the ancient notions of the virtuous.

Man has the capacity to make possible what has long lived as impossible. He has the capacity to construct myths out of mere fragments just like in the case of Abel and Cain, an everlasting battle of who really had the favor of God. It is tantamount to saying that battle between the brothers has not ended by a stab of Cain to Abel but it is continuously in progress as man thinks of how to achieve superiority through an era of novelty and of power. Our beliefs of the past would heavily be tainted by new colors behind the threshold of what has been.

A Love so Deep yet so Shattered

Have you ever heard of “vertigo”? You may easily assume that what am I referring here is its mere definition as the fear of falling. It may be true in a sense but I want us to explore further depths in the light of the term. According to Milan Kundera – author of The Unbearable Lightness of Being – it is beyond the simplicity suggested by the definition. When we are on top of a building looking down, there is a resilient voice calling us from the abyss to at least dare to jump. This voice is so tempting and insistent that we feel a feeling of attraction to at least try and experience the feeling of a free falling object. However, the seemingly joyful feeling of weightlessness is not what matters most. It is more important to bear the importance of our weight when we hit the ground. It is as if embodying an affirmation that we have thus really existed. But we would just keep our hands under our chin on wondering how does it really feels to fall?
I think the message of this simple idea is not to encourage us to feel the literal falling. Mostly, it would lead us to the catastrophes of life, a time when we are caught between choices to make up for ourselves, to jump or to remain wondering in the rest of your damn life what you would have felt if you just tried. And no other concrete feeling of falling is characterized by love.
I have this friend of mine who always dares to ask me about love and if it is quite worth our momentary existence because it is something that certainly ends and if it ends, it is necessarily painful. Her sentiment is common to all of us not because pain is the real score of love but because most of us are cowards. We are cowards not to love but to pain so reservation in our part is turning to be a must when it comes to loving.
According to Erich Fromm, Love has two natures: the other being the fatherly love and another being the motherly love. Motherly love is unconditional. It is built on one’s own capacity to love, to love one’s wholeness no matter what. It is the type of love that accepts everything. On the other hand, fatherly love is conditional. It must be deserved and somebody must work out to get it. It is built on the capacity to reason. This does not necessarily mean that a person shall possess only one of those two. Striking a balance is essential. Love conquers resilient sentiments and misparallelisms. It crosses borders of differences but it also requires the right things to be done. It sometimes requires the condition of pain, of mispleasures and misunderstandings.
Mixture of both nature leads to love’s perfection. You can only say that you have loved if you felt the pain. It is rewarding in certain respects but it seeks responsibility in the other. Clive Staples Lewis have furthered the problem of pain by reconciling it to love. Love is perfection in itself but why does it gives pain which is not a perfection? Keeping track in this premise is the idea of the perfect love endowed by God. God, who is the perfect love Himself, allows pain to draw on our lives because it draws us closer to him, to perfection. The pain attributed to love makes us better lovers.
We are made by God out of his great love and we feel its pain out of great love too. It is just the mere proof of love’s existence in us. You may not agree with me for the mean time but rest assured the vertigo of loving is just around the corner, so deep yet so shattered. Even if it sounds of melancholic paradoxes, it is worth a try than to stare and wonder what it feels like to love and be loved in return for the rest of your life.